A New Low

Roommate Dudes
Do you rise n’ shine or snooze n’ lose? These two early birds are up and at ‘em at the crack o’ dawn to get a real jump-start on their day! Let’s hope their morning routine goes as planned…we wouldn’t want things to get messy, now would we?

Wil vs Car
God, I hate Wil. I’ve tried killing him so many times over the years, but this is probably the closest I’ve come. I still think if Gay Andy stuck to our original plan and backed into him–it would’ve done the trick.

Sex Advice From a Carnie
Scotty is a rogue, a libertine…a carnie. He is so famous for his many illicit love affairs and perpetual womanizing that his name is synonymous with the art of seduction. For Scotty, the fairgrounds are an open field of sexual opportunities…for the rest of us, his incontrovertible sex advice is an opportunity for self improvement.

An Applicable Arrangement For a Rigorously Chapped Chap

Denim Dudes
Oh, just another casual afternoon of puppetry interrupted by a hot sale on denim.

Yetti vs Taem
The warmth of a friend’s vomit brings joy to our hearts, sunlight to our souls, bile to our crotches, and pleasure to all of life.

Customary Small Talk

Study Time
When young Terrence Friskins brings home a report card that is less than satisfactory, his loving father does everything he can to encourage better study habits and set higher academic goals.

Animation Theatre
When a popular podcast is neglected in favor of a feature-length production, ETC’s boss, Mr. Holloway, steps in and demands results.

Cal vs Dog Poo
Oh, Cal and his zany get-rich-quick schemes! Honestly, it pays the bills and promotes the growth of E. coli…not a bad gig.

Lock, Pog and a Few Smoking Barrels
Action! Suspense! Fun for the whole family except for one F-word!

Self-Defense Tips From a Carnie
Patrick Swayze will live on in the hearts of millions of moviegoers as ghastly New York City night demon, Sam Wheat…and, of course, no one is likely to forget John “fidgety hips” Castle any time soon. However, with Swayze’s recent passing comes the inevitability of his secondary roles fading slowly into obscurity…and with this, we’re faced with the very real possibility of future generations growing up without the guidance of his most important film credit, James Dalton.

Dalton deficiency in a boy’s development will spark the devolution of man.

Without Road House, you lose the immortal words “pain don’t hurt”…and without this declaration, humanity loses it’s strength. Our species will become frail and weak. We will eventually be conquered by creatures inferior by today’s standards. A century from now it’s a distinct possibility our surviving civilization will succumb to a herd of guinea pigs.

The question begging to be answered is: Who’s going to put the “MAN” back in the future of “mankind”?

Along comes Scotty. He’s coolheaded and evenhanded, but he means business. His experience transcends taking out the trash at a seedy roadside bar…he does his dirty work on the savage fairgrounds. No man’s land. On top of that, he too has a degree in philosophy, only his was printed out on carnival tickets and inked with the blood of all those who’ve dared cut in line at the merry-go-round.

In Scotty, we have not only the successor to James Dalton, but perhaps…

…the savior of the human race.