Watch me steal the spotlight from David Wain in Wainy Days episodes 30 & 31. I do it all–I sit, I clap, I stand, I stare! Check out more episodes at www.wainydays.com
This past Monday, I was an extra in an episode of Wainy Days. The following micro-sized journal entries from my adventure were originally posted on Twitter. So, kick back, lube up your ring finger and stimulate your inner asshole to this enchanting tale of friendship, love, betrayal and abusive sexual conquest…
Driving solo to NYC. GPS says arrival time is 3:54am. Then 1 hour of sleep before a 1 hour commute & an all day shoot. Switch rad.
1st fast food in years. Double quarter pounder from a truckstop MickyD’s. Saving my stockpile of organic PB sammichz for NYC. Savin’ that $.
Restaurant review: highway McDonalds. DBL QTR CHEESE was a l’il greasy. Guilt lingering. No napkins…but thanks for the free coffee, baby.
Just entered Dirty Jerz. That dirty burg from MickyD’s ain’t sittin’ too purty in my belly. I wanna barf. Another hour of driving to go…
The men & women of Rockaway can suck the piss out of my dick for those false “24 hour gas station” signs they have up on I-80 East.
My arrival time is now four twenty fucking nine A.M…BUT, a male gas station attendent just called me “hun”…that’s what I call service!
Can one Twitter in the Holland Tunnel?
…yes, Apparently one can.
Arrived at destination. Time for my shitty nap.
Fuck that one hour commute…I’m takin’ a cab.
Called for my cab at 8:06…”be there in 4 mins”…only took him 32! I stepped in dog shit & it’s officially all over the back of his seat.
In the “camoflauge couch room” aka: the “extras lounge.” Mr. Wain said he was bringing coffee…now where the fuck is it!?
Lack of sleep is catching up to me. Yawns are exploding from every orifice. Nothing like a big wardrobe change to fix that…
Not enough time for a wardrobe change. Got only 60% of my hair & makeup done…but I’m still gnarrin’ it harder than these other dopes.
If David Wain offers you the rest of his fajita…you take it. If his used fork is still sticking out of it…you use it.
That’s a wrap on Wainy Days episode 30!
Brooklyn buses smell like piss.
I accidentally used an extra 50 cents boarding this bus. It’s my way of saying “thanks for not wiping the blood off this bar I’m touching.”
Coffee mission. Then I’m blowing this Hep B infested pop stand!
iTunes just released the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs album (a month early)…a fine way to cap off a NYC trip. Highway iPhone fantasitca.
I am the ONLY car on I-380 North (and South, for that matter). Where is everyone? Did Ohio launch a nuclear attack on Pennsylvania?
Home sweet Horseheads. 29+ hours of madness with only 2 short naps…time to hibernate. Keep your eyes peeled for Wainy Days #30!
I had no idea this was going up today, but my latest directorial effort is now online! This is the music video for “Find Forever Gone” by Bella Morte off their new album, Beautiful Death, which drops this coming Tuesday...
Here’s a short presentation that Taem Jones, J.Ho, Yetti and I threw together in the summer of 2005 while shooting A New Low 2. It explores the dangerous underworld of Pog, a vicious sport banned from the United States since the late 90s. Warning: this dramatization of actual recorded events is not for the faint of heart…
When I was a boy, the sound of Doug Craven’s pee stream was epic. It was loud, powerful, intimidating. It sent shivers down my spine–not to mention light splashes against my face as I tried peaking over the bowl to see what all the commotion was.
I couldn’t wait for the bathroom to shake with the impact of my golden thunder.
Now, here I am at the tender age of 27, with a cock bigger than two Christmas hams, and–though my stream has respectable width and passes at a considerable rate–the consistency of the pee itself is a bit light-bodied for my taste…it’s just too thin to make the splash I’d hoped for by this point in my life.
I’ve increased the amount of pectin, arrowroot and carrageenan in my diet, which has aided in giving my urine a velvety smooth texture…but not the rich, thick density that I’m really hoping to spank the toilet water with. I guess what I’m looking for is something to augment the viscosity of my pee without sacrificing its astringency.
I’m open to suggestions. I just want results, and I want them now. When I piss, my neighbor needs to hear it over his snowblower. The guy at the urinal next to me needs to know that my stream could cut him in half. Most importantly, without needing to press his ear against the bathroom door, Doug Craven needs to know his baby boy has grown up a man.
When I take you out to dinner, I intend on picking up the tab, because I’m a gentleman. Once I have paid for your food, legally, I own it. Since the food in your belly is technically my property, I reserve the right to watch you poop it out later that evening and/or the morning after. I also get dibs on flushing.
I saw Mest at the 2000 Edgefest and thought they put on a really good show. A few weeks later I bought their CD and only listened to it once on account of it being music for highshcool chicks.
Today, however, they’ve earned a spot in my iTunes library because their frontman, Tony Lovato, has been arrested on charges of MURDER!
Tony Lovato, the frontman for defunct mainstream pop-punk act Mest, was jailed on suspicion of murder in Los Angeles on Sunday. Reuters is reporting that the 26 year old confessed to police that he stabbed his ex-girlfriend’s new lover. He is now being held on $1 million dollar bail.
The preliminary news reports claim that Lovato was assaulted earlier in the day by 25 year old Wayne Hughes in the underground parking lot of an apartment building the Studio City suburb. Lt. Andrew Neiman of the Los Angeles Police Dept commented “At some point, Mr. Lovato produced a knife and the victim was stabbed… He has been booked for criminal homicide.” Police had visited the complex the night before due to an altercation between the two men but no arrests were made at that time.
MEST FUCKING RULES.
Check out Episode 9 of BMtv for an exclusive interview with international superstar, Eric Thomas Craven.
The update requesting footage of Mitch Long was up for a record 2 and a half months…and all that was donated was ONE CLIP. I know there’s more skate footage of him out there, if you have access to any, quit being a retard and get that shit to us A.S.A.P.
Reach Eric Thomas via anewlow.net
Also…happy birthday, Poon McGavin.