Blog Archives
A New Low classic logo shirts are back!
Our original shirts are back to commemorate the ten year anniversary of A New Low. Snatch ‘em up before they go back into moratorium for another goddamn decade!
Shirts are just $22 and are available in men’s and women’s sizes with a wide array of color choices. Printed on American Apparel Fine Jersey T-shirts, made with 100% fine jersey cotton, combed for softness and comfort.
“Yetti vs Taem” shirts now available!
The warmth of a friend’s vomit brings joy to our hearts, sunlight to our souls, bile to our crotches, and pleasure to all of life.
This is another fine piece by Alexander Duke (wizardskull.com), inspired by one of the most horrific prank videos in the history of mankind and one of our proudest moments here at A New Low, Yetti vs Taem.
Shirts are just $22 and are available in men’s and women’s sizes with a wide array of color choices. Printed on American Apparel Fine Jersey T-shirts, made with 100% fine jersey cotton, combed for softness and comfort.
Scotty the Carnie shirts now available!
Scotty is a rogue, a libertine…a carnie. He is so famous for his many illicit love affairs and perpetual womanizing that his name is synonymous with the art of seduction. For Scotty, the fairgrounds are an open field of sexual opportunities…for the rest of us, his incontrovertible sex advice is an opportunity for self improvement.
This romantic portrait was handcrafted by Alexander Duke (wizardskull.com) and was inspired by Scotty’s video series triumphantly showcased here at A New Low (specifically, Sex Advice From a Carnie).
Shirts are just $22 and are available in men’s and women’s sizes with a wide array of color choices. Printed on American Apparel Fine Jersey T-shirts, made with 100% fine jersey cotton, combed for softness and comfort.
Oh, and Scotty wanted me to tell you “buy this shirt or you’ll probably never get laid ever again.” Better do as the man says…
Current Mysteries: Season 2, Episode 2 “Headhunters”
Season 2 is upon us. Sorry for the delay, folks…the United States government is doing everything they can to put a muzzle on Current Mysteries. It’s making our production difficult…but we will persevere. Why? Because the truth is out there…and they can’t keep it covered forever.
Now, brace yourself for the episode they didn’t want you to see…
HEADHUNTERS.
-John Holden
Current Mysteries: Season 2, Episode 1 “Masked Phantoms”
School is almost over, so shut your history book and take a mystery look…
I mean there is something new, or preferably current.
The long awaited second season of Current Mysteries is finally here.
For your viewing pleasure and safety, I bring you “Masked Phantoms.”
Unearthed Merch: ‘A New Low’ Girly Tank Top
While diggin’ through storage in hopes of locating my notebooks of Ricky Martin fan-fiction, I uncovered some rare A New Low gems that I’ll be adding to the site over the coming weeks.
The first is a girly tank top (black, 100% pre-shrunk cotton) proudly displaying the A New Low logo in white print. Morrissey once observed that some girls are bigger than others…and I’m observing that some girls are also shit outta luck, because all we have left is SMALL. (Fret not, our large-breasted and otherwise curvy cohorts…we’ll design a new shirt with a full run of sizes in the near future.)
These were thought to be long out of stock since maybe 2006 and there’s only a short stack of ‘em left…so get off your snatch n’ snatch one up before they’re gone forever!
We even have two options for ya. Just click on the one you want n’ get whisked away to our delightful, easy to use checkout page.
1) Just the shirt, as described above, for $15.
2) The shirt, as described above, plus both of our DVDs and two adorable stickers, for $25.
Choose or lose, buckaroos!
Diaper-Rash of the Titans: Tom Green’s Endorsement of A New Low
Sure, we’re a little late on this…but a big thanks to Tom Green for the shout-out he gave A New Low on his Prepare For Impact DVD a while back.
Tom, let’s listen to rap music and go skateboarding sometime soon.
Everyone else, lace up your fanny packs, grab a fistful of lukewarm cottage cheese n’ head on over to www.tomgreen.com!
Major Label De Pew
You know you’ve made it when the art you’ve passionately poured your heart and soul into is given away with toilet products. That same goal has driven A New Low for years. Thank you, Jo Dee Messina, for paving the way…
A New Low stickers!
Are you looking to vandalize cop cars* and get yourself shoved out of Guido bars for soliciting “gay porn”** by bros who: wear sunglasses indoors at night, always lean to the right/make the same face when posing for pictures and have monikers like “Rockstar J. Vegas,” “Fishboy B.” and “DeRTy Ka$h” (pictured below)? If so…boy, do I have the solution for you!
Introducing the A New Low sticker pack! These colorful depictions of popular A New Low segments, “Yetti vs Taem” and “Denim Dudes,” feature original artwork by Consolidated Skateboards artist and ambassador of Toilet Town, Alexander Duke, and are sure to get a rise out of all the squeamish, steroid-poppin’ homophobes in your life. You can have both stickers for only one buck by clicking HERE.
*This is not an insistence, nor a suggestion…slap these l’il vinyl adhesives around town at your own risk.
**True story. We were kicked out of D’Jais-wannabe bar, The Colosseum in Scranton, PA, after handing out a few stickers. “These are the guys selling gay porn…” was heard as we were muscled out the door by a pseudo-Italian bouncer/Jersey Shore incarnate.
Eric Thomas Craven
John Holden
Tony Shaddock
