Category Archives: Video
A Rapey in Nights
For all the impatient Son of a Bitches (is that hintin’ at sumpin’??) who complain about us never releasing anything new, we present to you a never-before-seen skit that’s almost a decade old. Strap on your turbans and prepare to be whisked away on the magic carpet ride that is…A Rapey in Nights!!
An Applicable Arrangement For a Rigorously Chapped Chap
Son of a Bitch
A routine game of billiards quickly turns into a night of HELL for two unsuspecting townies.
Pre-Gaming with Carlos and Ray Ray
Anatomy of a Funnies (MOVIE!!) OMG Secrets Revealed!!
An inside look at the complex nature of today’s entertainment standards.
Internet MOST CHAMPION Video!! (LOL Mtv Mega Turbo!!!)
Michael
Cow Urine
Eric Thomas Craven accidentally gets his hand moist, and tries desperately to dry it off.
Yetti vs Taem
The warmth of a friend’s vomit brings joy to our hearts, sunlight to our souls, bile to our crotches, and pleasure to all of life.
Be sure to snatch up a Yetti vs Taem sticker and a copy of our AN’L Lies DVD! Awooga!
Download this video FREE on iTunes.
Marquis Brimley on “AN’L Lies”
Blacklisted Clients: The Kyle Bernis Files
Bella Morte “In The Dirt”
The day A N’ L Lies was released (available here for an absolutely JUICY eight dollars and fifty cents), John Holden, Taem Jones and I migrated to Chattanooga, Tennessee to promote the DVD at Con Nooga 2010, pass the Bella Morte music video torch to Troma president, Lloyd Kaufman and participate in said music video, Bella Morte’s In the Dirt.
Now, first and foremost, I’d like to address why I wasn’t asked to direct Bella Morte’s new video. Afterall, I helmed the last three (zombie prom masterpiece, Earth Angel; dizzying blue hurricane of cinematic triumph, On The Edge; and the one with feathers, Find Forever Gone)…naturally, their fans were chanting my name in harmonic unison, awaiting the fourth coming of—what was it they were calling me…the “music video messiah” or something to that effect. So, what happened?
As you well know, I’m taking Hollywood by storm. I’m a very big deal. Essentially, I was asking 6 figures to do the new video…but Cock-Block Kaufman agreed to do it for a #6 at Taco Bell. See, it’s problematic when filmmakers are more involved with “art” and less concerned with money. So now, my name doesn’t appear in lights and my bank account suffers…it’s like, go get a paintbrush or something, artfag.
Lloyd and his Troma imprint were a very important part of my upbringing. Five minutes into my young and tender first viewing of the Toxic Avenger, my father jabbed his gurthy, vein rippled viking thumb hard into the eject button on our VCR and set sail for an angry return to Little Joe’s Video Rental. Hopping out of the director’s chair for this guy was a real honor…and knowing that I’d farted in it moments before he called “move your feet, lose your feet” was an added bonus.
So, without further ado, here’s Lloyd Kaufman’s latest work, STARRING John Holden, Taem Jones, myself, Toxie…and some unnecessary secretary (?) who makes the same face in every scene she’s in. Enjoy!
Self-Defense Tips From a Carnie
Patrick Swayze will live on in the hearts of millions of moviegoers as ghastly New York City night demon, Sam Wheat…and, of course, no one is likely to forget John “fidgety hips” Castle any time soon. However, with Swayze’s recent passing comes the inevitability of his secondary roles fading slowly into obscurity…and with this, we’re faced with the very real possibility of future generations growing up without the guidance of his most important film credit, James Dalton.
Dalton deficiency in a boy’s development will spark the devolution of man.
Without Road House, you lose the immortal words “pain don’t hurt”…and without this declaration, humanity loses it’s strength. Our species will become frail and weak. We will eventually be conquered by creatures inferior by today’s standards. A century from now it’s a distinct possibility our surviving civilization will succumb to a herd of guinea pigs.
The question begging to be answered is: Who’s going to put the “MAN” back in the future of “mankind”?
Along comes Scotty. He’s coolheaded and evenhanded, but he means business. His experience transcends taking out the trash at a seedy roadside bar…he does his dirty work on the savage fairgrounds. No man’s land. On top of that, he too has a degree in philosophy, only his was printed out on carnival tickets and inked with the blood of all those who’ve dared cut in line at the merry-go-round.
In Scotty, we have not only the successor to James Dalton, but perhaps…
…the savior of the human race.
