Yetti vs Taem

August 9, 2010

The warmth of a friend’s vomit brings joy to our hearts, sunlight to our souls, bile to our crotches, and pleasure to all of life.


Be sure to snatch up a Yetti vs Taem sticker and a copy of our AN’L Lies DVD! Awooga!

Download this video FREE on iTunes.

- similar videos…


Marquis Brimley on “AN’L Lies”

July 17, 2010

Share


Blacklisted Clients: The Kyle Bernis Files

July 10, 2010


Bella Morte “In The Dirt”

May 26, 2010

The day A N’ L Lies was released (available here for an absolutely JUICY eight dollars and fifty cents), John Holden, Taem Jones and I migrated to Chattanooga, Tennessee to promote the DVD at Con Nooga 2010, pass the Bella Morte music video torch to Troma president, Lloyd Kaufman and participate in said music video, Bella Morte’s In the Dirt.

Now, first and foremost, I’d like to address why I wasn’t asked to direct Bella Morte’s new video. Afterall, I helmed the last three (zombie prom masterpiece, Earth Angel; dizzying blue hurricane of cinematic triumph, On The Edge; and the one with feathers, Find Forever Gone)…naturally, their fans were chanting my name in harmonic unison, awaiting the fourth coming of—what was it they were calling me…the “music video messiah” or something to that effect. So, what happened?

As you well know, I’m taking Hollywood by storm. I’m a very big deal. Essentially, I was asking 6 figures to do the new video…but Cock-Block Kaufman agreed to do it for a #6 at Taco Bell. See, it’s problematic when filmmakers are more involved with “art” and less concerned with money. So now, my name doesn’t appear in lights and my bank account suffers…it’s like, go get a paintbrush or something, artfag.

Lloyd and his Troma imprint were a very important part of my upbringing. Five minutes into my young and tender first viewing of the Toxic Avenger, my father jabbed his gurthy, vein rippled viking thumb hard into the eject button on our VCR and set sail for an angry return to Little Joe’s Video Rental. Hopping out of the director’s chair for this guy was a real honor…and knowing that I’d farted in it moments before he called “move your feet, lose your feet” was an added bonus.

So, without further ado, here’s Lloyd Kaufman’s latest work, STARRING John Holden, Taem Jones, myself, Toxie…and some unnecessary secretary (?) who makes the same face in every scene she’s in. Enjoy!

Share


Self-Defense Tips From a Carnie

November 24, 2009

Patrick Swayze will live on in the hearts of millions of moviegoers as ghastly New York City night demon, Sam Wheat…and, of course, no one is likely to forget John “fidgety hips” Castle any time soon. However, with Swayze’s recent passing comes the inevitability of his secondary roles fading slowly into obscurity…and with this, we’re faced with the very real possibility of future generations growing up without the guidance of his most important film credit, James Dalton.

Dalton deficiency in a boy’s development will spark the devolution of man.

Without Road House, you lose the immortal words “pain don’t hurt”…and without this declaration, humanity loses it’s strength. Our species will become frail and weak. We will eventually be conquered by creatures inferior by today’s standards. A century from now it’s a distinct possibility our surviving civilization will succumb to a herd of guinea pigs.

The question begging to be answered is: Who’s going to put the “MAN” back in the future of “mankind”?

Along comes Scotty. He’s coolheaded and evenhanded, but he means business. His experience transcends taking out the trash at a seedy roadside bar…he does his dirty work on the savage fairgrounds. No man’s land. On top of that, he too has a degree in philosophy, only his was printed out on carnival tickets and inked with the blood of all those who’ve dared cut in line at the merry-go-round.

In Scotty, we have not only the successor to James Dalton, but perhaps…

…the savior of the human race.

Share

- similar articles…


Sex Advice From a Carnie

November 11, 2009

Scotty is a rogue, a libertine…a carnie. He is so famous for his many illicit love affairs and perpetual womanizing that his name is synonymous with the art of seduction. For Scotty, the fairgrounds are an open field of sexual opportunities…for the rest of us, his incontrovertible sex advice is an opportunity for self improvement.

Share

- similar articles…


Wainy Days: Rochelle (Parts 1 & 2)

June 20, 2009

Watch me steal the spotlight from David Wain in Wainy Days episodes 30 & 31. I do it all–I sit, I clap, I stand, I stare! Check out more episodes at www.wainydays.com

Share


Bella Morte "Find Forever Gone"

October 1, 2008

I had no idea this was going​ up today​,​ but my lates​t direc​toria​l effor​t is now onlin​e!​ This is the music​ video​ for “​Find Forev​er Gone”​ by Bella​ Morte​ off their​ new album,​ Beaut​iful Death,​ which drops​ this comin​g Tuesd​ay.​.​.​


Happy October!

Share


Denim Dudes

July 13, 2008

Lace up your Miss Piggy slippers, grab a hearty bowl of unseasoned croutons, fall into your favorite beanbag chair and enjoy a round or three of “Denim Dudes” from the upcoming, and most delayed DVD of all time, A New Low 2!

Share

- similar articles…


Wil vs Car

May 12, 2008

God, I hate Wil. I’ve tried killing him so many times over the years, but this is probably the closest I’ve come. I still think if Gay Andy stuck to our original plan and backed into him–it would’ve done the trick.

Share


Cal vs Dog Poo

May 5, 2008

Here’s an old clip from A New Low (which you can now get for a measly $12 by clicking the banner to the right) proving once again–we’re not willing to let a good turd go to waste.

So pour yourself a thick, creamy glass of chocolate milk and enjoy!

Share

- similar articles…


Roommate Dudes

March 23, 2008

This l’il nugget of shit is the surprise video I unveiled after Bella Morte’s performance at The Haunt in Ithaca, NY two weeks ago. All you out-of-towners that couldn’t make it up to the show (and all you local shitbags that sat around grinding your pud into the carpet instead of going out) can finally see what all the fuss was about. Enjoy…

Share

- similar articles…


The infamous taint ring.

February 29, 2008

The aftermath of Pirate vs Wolfman on Planet X Episode #3:

If you’re not listening to Pirate vs Wolfman by now, do yourself a favor and subscribe to it for free on iTunes, catch up on all the old episodes and anticipate the news ones. What other radio show has mayhem like this:

Make sense of it all by tuning in.

Episode #10 went up this morning, so check your iTunes or find it here.

Share


proper McDonald’s bathroom etiquette

February 23, 2008

Here’s a lost clip from one of our many trips to Virginia.

Yes, A New Low…the mark of quality.

Share

- similar articles…


Bella Morte "On The Edge"

February 14, 2008

From Bella Morte’s myspace blog:

Hey everyone! Consider this your Valentine’s Day present from all of us in the band! We can’t take each of you out for dinner, because there simply isn’t enough time… We shot this video with director Eric Thomas Craven (the guy behind the Earth Angel video) a while back, but after his hard drive crashed we thought we’dlost everything. Well, after some major delays, Eric restored the footage and re-edited what you see here. We’re proud to present… ON THE EDGE!

Share