Category Archives: News
A New Low classic logo shirts are back!
Our original shirts are back to commemorate the ten year anniversary of A New Low. Snatch ‘em up before they go back into moratorium for another goddamn decade!
Shirts are just $22 and are available in men’s and women’s sizes with a wide array of color choices. Printed on American Apparel Fine Jersey T-shirts, made with 100% fine jersey cotton, combed for softness and comfort.
“Yetti vs Taem” shirts now available!
The warmth of a friend’s vomit brings joy to our hearts, sunlight to our souls, bile to our crotches, and pleasure to all of life.
This is another fine piece by Alexander Duke (wizardskull.com), inspired by one of the most horrific prank videos in the history of mankind and one of our proudest moments here at A New Low, Yetti vs Taem.
Shirts are just $22 and are available in men’s and women’s sizes with a wide array of color choices. Printed on American Apparel Fine Jersey T-shirts, made with 100% fine jersey cotton, combed for softness and comfort.
FREE SHIPPING on Scotty shirts!
Limited time offer: Free shipping through February 10, 2013…worldwide! Just follow this link!
Scotty the Carnie shirts now available!
Scotty is a rogue, a libertine…a carnie. He is so famous for his many illicit love affairs and perpetual womanizing that his name is synonymous with the art of seduction. For Scotty, the fairgrounds are an open field of sexual opportunities…for the rest of us, his incontrovertible sex advice is an opportunity for self improvement.
This romantic portrait was handcrafted by Alexander Duke (wizardskull.com) and was inspired by Scotty’s video series triumphantly showcased here at A New Low (specifically, Sex Advice From a Carnie).
Shirts are just $22 and are available in men’s and women’s sizes with a wide array of color choices. Printed on American Apparel Fine Jersey T-shirts, made with 100% fine jersey cotton, combed for softness and comfort.
Oh, and Scotty wanted me to tell you “buy this shirt or you’ll probably never get laid ever again.” Better do as the man says…
Unearthed Merch: ‘A New Low’ Girly Tank Top
While diggin’ through storage in hopes of locating my notebooks of Ricky Martin fan-fiction, I uncovered some rare A New Low gems that I’ll be adding to the site over the coming weeks.
The first is a girly tank top (black, 100% pre-shrunk cotton) proudly displaying the A New Low logo in white print. Morrissey once observed that some girls are bigger than others…and I’m observing that some girls are also shit outta luck, because all we have left is SMALL. (Fret not, our large-breasted and otherwise curvy cohorts…we’ll design a new shirt with a full run of sizes in the near future.)
These were thought to be long out of stock since maybe 2006 and there’s only a short stack of ‘em left…so get off your snatch n’ snatch one up before they’re gone forever!
We even have two options for ya. Just click on the one you want n’ get whisked away to our delightful, easy to use checkout page.
1) Just the shirt, as described above, for $15.
2) The shirt, as described above, plus both of our DVDs and two adorable stickers, for $25.
Choose or lose, buckaroos!
Wanderlust Director Uses Early Collaboration With Eric Thomas Craven to Promote Film
To pack people into theaters for his new comedy, Wanderlust, director/co-writer David Wain did what any struggling filmmaker would do…he made sure the opening weekend coincided with the release of a DVD showcasing his collected work with global art, film and literary sensation, Eric Thomas Craven.
The DVD compiles Wainy Days, a relatively unknown web series that exploded into a mushroom cloud of thermonuclear popularity once David cast Eric Thomas in the gripping two-part segment, “Rochelle”. When ETC was given a copy of the script, he revised all of his lines—in fact, he omitted them completely and even crossed his character out of 98% of the scenes he was to appear in. David—who had the added stress of his previous film, Role Models, being released to the home market the very next day—fought tirelessly with Eric Thomas…he didn’t want to lose Rochelle’s shining star. Eventually, ETC convinced David an air of mystique was essential to the character…that he’d sell the performance through nimble mannerisms and facial expressions; that it was imperative his screen time be minimal. The dark complexities of the role would pose a challenge to audiences—yet, captivate them, with many projecting their own inner conflicts and moral ambiguities onto the character…ultimately, shaping him in their own image.
The results were outstanding. Rochelle earned David the Pulitzer Prize for Drama, seventy three Academy Awards, a Baseball Hall of Fame nomination and a fourteen month reign as WWE Intercontinental Champion.
These accolades certainly helped David in getting his new film green-lit, but securing a strong turnout at the box office would necessitate some large scale name-dropping…and that’s where the idea to finally release Wainy Days on DVD came into play—a little nudge to moviegoers, reminding ‘em that he once worked with Eric Thomas Craven.
Remarkably, Eric Thomas Craven was not offered the lead role in Wanderlust, with it instead going to Paul Rudd…strange choice, because at the final performance of American Idiot on Broadway, Paul sat behind Eric Thomas…by like three rows. Regardless, ETC fully endorses both Wanderlust and Wainy Days.
So, remember, folks…Wanderlust is in theaters everywhere, Wainy Days is available here and Paul Rudd cannot even compete with Eric Thomas Craven as a patron of the arts.
NYC Horror Fest
Son of a Bitch: Part II has been accepted into the The Killer Shorts Film Competition at NYC Horror Fest and will be playing sometime this evening (screenings start at 4:00pm). It’s at the Meadowlands Sheraton across from Giants / Jets Stadium.
Apologies for the late notice, but if you’re in the Tri-State area today and have 8 minutes to kill, swing by and watch Sock Monkey splatter a few shitbags on the big screen!
John Holden will be there representing A New Low and handing out our colorful penis and puke stickers. Don’t be afraid to tickle him.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
I have a special treat for all you spooky bastards this year. Boils and ghouls, put your warty witch tits and wolfman nards together for…
SON OF A BITCH: Part II
Update: The refrigernator’s down for repairs. It’ll be up n’ running again soon.
New Videos Premiering at The Haunt in Ithaca October 15th
Yep…new AN’L videos, Bella Morte, booze, slamdancing, Taekwondo battles in the parking lot and enough farts in the air to kill an aluminum foil-clad gerbil (there will be a herd of futuristic war gerbils in attendance).
Here’s the press release:
The filmmakers behind “A New Low” have been overstepping the boundaries of socially acceptable behavior and good taste for over ten years now. Their controversial library of pranks, sketch comedy, gross-out gags, skateboarding & reckless behavior has garnered a lot of negative publicity, banned DVDs and PTA protests…yet, also piqued the interest of established industry peers, allowing them to have worked with the likes of (let the name dropping begin) Tom Green, David Wain, Bam Margera, Kevin Smith and Lloyd Kaufman…as well as the opportunity to direct three of headlining band, Bella Morte’s, music videos.
They return to The Haunt on the 15th to celebrate (or, more specifically, capitalize) on the release of Jackass 3D. So, grab a drink, tip your bartender and laugh ’til you puke (or puke ’til you laugh?) at the video shorts they’ve whipped up for the Halloween season…and wish a happy birthday to A New Low alumni, Tony Shaddock and Sam Lisi, while you’re at it.
A New Low stickers!
Are you looking to vandalize cop cars* and get yourself shoved out of Guido bars for soliciting “gay porn”** by bros who: wear sunglasses indoors at night, always lean to the right/make the same face when posing for pictures and have monikers like “Rockstar J. Vegas,” “Fishboy B.” and “DeRTy Ka$h” (pictured below)? If so…boy, do I have the solution for you!
Introducing the A New Low sticker pack! These colorful depictions of popular A New Low segments, “Yetti vs Taem” and “Denim Dudes,” feature original artwork by Consolidated Skateboards artist and ambassador of Toilet Town, Alexander Duke, and are sure to get a rise out of all the squeamish, steroid-poppin’ homophobes in your life. You can have both stickers for only one buck by clicking HERE.
*This is not an insistence, nor a suggestion…slap these l’il vinyl adhesives around town at your own risk.
**True story. We were kicked out of D’Jais-wannabe bar, The Colosseum in Scranton, PA, after handing out a few stickers. “These are the guys selling gay porn…” was heard as we were muscled out the door by a pseudo-Italian bouncer/Jersey Shore incarnate.
Bella Morte “In The Dirt”
The day A N’ L Lies was released (available here for an absolutely JUICY eight dollars and fifty cents), John Holden, Taem Jones and I migrated to Chattanooga, Tennessee to promote the DVD at Con Nooga 2010, pass the Bella Morte music video torch to Troma president, Lloyd Kaufman and participate in said music video, Bella Morte’s In the Dirt.
Now, first and foremost, I’d like to address why I wasn’t asked to direct Bella Morte’s new video. Afterall, I helmed the last three (zombie prom masterpiece, Earth Angel; dizzying blue hurricane of cinematic triumph, On The Edge; and the one with feathers, Find Forever Gone)…naturally, their fans were chanting my name in harmonic unison, awaiting the fourth coming of—what was it they were calling me…the “music video messiah” or something to that effect. So, what happened?
As you well know, I’m taking Hollywood by storm. I’m a very big deal. Essentially, I was asking 6 figures to do the new video…but Cock-Block Kaufman agreed to do it for a #6 at Taco Bell. See, it’s problematic when filmmakers are more involved with “art” and less concerned with money. So now, my name doesn’t appear in lights and my bank account suffers…it’s like, go get a paintbrush or something, artfag.
Lloyd and his Troma imprint were a very important part of my upbringing. Five minutes into my young and tender first viewing of the Toxic Avenger, my father jabbed his gurthy, vein rippled viking thumb hard into the eject button on our VCR and set sail for an angry return to Little Joe’s Video Rental. My parents thought it was a little too vulgar. They had no idea their attempts to shelter me from folks like Toxie would only fuel my growing curiosity of the obscene; force-feeding my imagination with more swear words, boogers, poop and toxic waste than you could find in all of Tromaville; ultimately, stitching a lifelong fascination with all things gross, shocking and heinous within the fabric of my soul. Hopping out of the director’s chair for Lloyd was a real honor…and knowing that I’d farted in it moments before he called “move your feet, lose your feet” was an added bonus.
So, without further ado, here’s Lloyd Kaufman’s latest work, STARRING John Holden, Taem Jones, myself, Toxie…and some unnecessary secretary (?) who makes the same face in every scene she’s in. Enjoy!
Interview with Indie MediaCast
In mid February, Taem, J.Ho and I went down to ConNooga in Chattanooga, Tennessee to promote A N’ L Lies (available here for only $8.50!) and appear as extras in Lloyd Kaufman‘s Bella Morte music video. After the shoot, Jeremy Atkins of Indie MediaCast sat us down to discuss the new DVD, Bella Morte and ConNooga 2010.
…and I must say, the three of us give an extremely professional interview.
A New Low Films- These guys ARE low
Sunday, February 21, 2010
IMC had the pleasure, or displeasure depending on how you feel about depravity. A New Low is an independent film company based out of NY. Lies (ANL demo dvd) apparently toppled even Lloyd Kaufman’s iron gut.
These guys are sick, vile and disgusting, and also some of the best party copilots one could have at a convention.
Keep a look out for A NEW LOW’s brand of horror cinema and buy every NEW LOW piece of merchandise you see. Why?! So that we can keep them off the street and most likely off of your daughter.
Check out Indie MediaCast or stream the interview here:
Bon voyage, Scotty!
Well, we all knew it would come sooner or later…
That’s right, it’s carnival season—and right now, Scotty is on a bus to Middletown, Connecticut, where he begins his grueling 29th year as a carnie for Coleman Bros. Fair.
For five and a half months, thousands of children’s lives will be in Scotty’s hands while he’s off sneakin’ chew, peeping in porta potties, scouring for prostitutes and catching Mexicans jacking off under the merry-go-round.
Every so often, when he’s not covering up pee on the kiddie slide with coats of silicone spray or getting his dick tickled, he’ll be updating his Twitter page with firsthand accounts of sexual conquest, barroom brawls and more fairground mischief than you can shake a Kewpie doll at.
Follow Scotty on Twitter: http://twitter.com/ScottyTheCarnie
We’ll miss you, buddy. Give ‘em hell.
Eric Thomas Craven
John Holden
Tony Shaddock
