One man horror movie cleanup crew/part-time underwear model, Taem Jones.
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A New Low classic logo shirts are back!
Our original shirts are back to commemorate the ten year anniversary of A New Low. Snatch ‘em up before they go back into moratorium for another goddamn decade!
Shirts are just $22 and are available in men’s and women’s sizes with a wide array of color choices. Printed on American Apparel Fine Jersey T-shirts, made with 100% fine jersey cotton, combed for softness and comfort.
I Found This Thing (It Looks Just Like a Dick)
I found this thing, it looks just like a dick. vine.co/v/bgMq9Ql0jJE—
Eric Thomas Craven (@diarrheasodapop) February 23, 2013
“Yetti vs Taem” shirts now available!
The warmth of a friend’s vomit brings joy to our hearts, sunlight to our souls, bile to our crotches, and pleasure to all of life.
This is another fine piece by Alexander Duke (wizardskull.com), inspired by one of the most horrific prank videos in the history of mankind and one of our proudest moments here at A New Low, Yetti vs Taem.
Shirts are just $22 and are available in men’s and women’s sizes with a wide array of color choices. Printed on American Apparel Fine Jersey T-shirts, made with 100% fine jersey cotton, combed for softness and comfort.
FREE SHIPPING on Scotty shirts!
Limited time offer: Free shipping through February 10, 2013…worldwide! Just follow this link!
Scotty the Carnie shirts now available!
Scotty is a rogue, a libertine…a carnie. He is so famous for his many illicit love affairs and perpetual womanizing that his name is synonymous with the art of seduction. For Scotty, the fairgrounds are an open field of sexual opportunities…for the rest of us, his incontrovertible sex advice is an opportunity for self improvement.
This romantic portrait was handcrafted by Alexander Duke (wizardskull.com) and was inspired by Scotty’s video series triumphantly showcased here at A New Low (specifically, Sex Advice From a Carnie).
Shirts are just $22 and are available in men’s and women’s sizes with a wide array of color choices. Printed on American Apparel Fine Jersey T-shirts, made with 100% fine jersey cotton, combed for softness and comfort.
Oh, and Scotty wanted me to tell you “buy this shirt or you’ll probably never get laid ever again.” Better do as the man says…
Unearthed Merch: ‘A New Low’ Girly Tank Top
While diggin’ through storage in hopes of locating my notebooks of Ricky Martin fan-fiction, I uncovered some rare A New Low gems that I’ll be adding to the site over the coming weeks.
The first is a girly tank top (black, 100% pre-shrunk cotton) proudly displaying the A New Low logo in white print. Morrissey once observed that some girls are bigger than others…and I’m observing that some girls are also shit outta luck, because all we have left is SMALL. (Fret not, our large-breasted and otherwise curvy cohorts…we’ll design a new shirt with a full run of sizes in the near future.)
These were thought to be long out of stock since maybe 2006 and there’s only a short stack of ‘em left…so get off your snatch n’ snatch one up before they’re gone forever!
We even have two options for ya. Just click on the one you want n’ get whisked away to our delightful, easy to use checkout page.
1) Just the shirt, as described above, for $15.
2) The shirt, as described above, plus both of our DVDs and two adorable stickers, for $25.
Choose or lose, buckaroos!
Joe Lentini’s First Day at the Skate Park
Eric Thomas Craven gives clumsy pal, Joe Lentini, a crash course tutorial on skateboarding.
Diaper-Rash of the Titans: Tom Green’s Endorsement of A New Low
Sure, we’re a little late on this…but a big thanks to Tom Green for the shout-out he gave A New Low on his Prepare For Impact DVD a while back.
Tom, let’s listen to rap music and go skateboarding sometime soon.
Everyone else, lace up your fanny packs, grab a fistful of lukewarm cottage cheese n’ head on over to www.tomgreen.com!
Eric Thomas Craven
John Holden
Tony Shaddock
